What would happen if compassion was your internal compass? 
We are human and it’s natural to try to define and rationalize what we see, or think we see. A simple action step for resetting our compassion compass is suspending judgment – not jumping to conclusions, criticizing, labeling or analyzing without truth and facts. It’s possible to spend a great deal of energy hypothesizing about people that can take us down a negative trajectory opposing the path of empathy and understanding.
In last weekend’s USA Weekend, Katie Couric shared her own experience of realizing being critical and judgmental isn’t much fun. I truly admire Katie’s courage and compassionate humility in sharing the story. Katie found herself describing a certain woman as “materialistic.” Katie’s 16 year old daughter shared with her that the woman had a very kind daughter and the woman bought things to compensate for being in a loveless marriage. Katie’s interaction with her daughter helped Katie reset her compassion compass and think twice about judging others too harshly.
Many things happen and are occurring we are not aware of that are behind people and actions we see. Many times these situations are painful and can create long-term suffering. But, as Katherine Hepburn’s character states in the classic movie On Golden Pond,
“Sometimes you have to look hard at a person and remember he’s doing the best he can. He’s just trying to find his way, just like you.”
Which then perhaps begs the questions:
What I am doing to see each person I come in contact with wherever I am at as a human participating in the human condition of suffering?
Is it possible that however perfect others appear, no one is truly perfect and each of us has our pain and we are doing the best we can?
How am I helping at least one person today be the best they can be?
What could happen if I suspended judgment during one personal interaction?
What would happen if I put a quarter in a jar every time I suspended judgment?
Compassion Prayer
Grant me the humility to accept others, strength to suspend judgment, and courage to send comfort and love.
Thank you Katie.
“Sometimes you have to look hard at a person and remember he’s doing the best he can. He’s just trying to find his way, just like you.”
I had this quote posted at my desk where I worked as a customer service rep. Every time I had an upset customer to deal with, I would look up at this quote. Eventually I became the Customer Service Manager. I think it was because of how I never let upset customers rile me and would gain pleasure out of making that customer trust our service once again. This quote was a huge influence on me at that time in my professional life. PS – My father, now deceased, never liked to watch a movie more than once. One time when I was visiting for the holidays, the movie where this quote came from “on Golden Pond”, was on the movie channel. He/we watched it three times while I was home. I think it was his way of saying he saw similarities in how he and I related to each other and wanted me to know without saying it. The next time I saw him was when he came out to visit me on the west coast and see the home I’d just purchased. It was my first home. He was wearing a hat just like Norman wore in the movie.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience and a great tip for other customer service reps. We really are just trying to find our own way. Best wishes!