Change is interesting. We have so many choices on how to approach change. We can always reject the change. That’s definitely an option. Or we can use variations on the theme of adapting to change.
My husband was recently diagnosed with Stage IV prostate cancer. The recommendation for prostate cancer patients is to limit or eliminate dairy products and processed or overcooked meat. I will tell you when Stage IV is stated in a medical conversation, it immediately creates fear and it is entirely possible the patient may opt-in for a sudden, transformational change (once he/she is past shock and overwhelming amazement). Such is the case with the Boesens. My husband opted-in for a plant-based diet. No meat, no eggs, no dairy. Nothing with a mother or eyes.
I must say we were eating fairly healthy eating lots of cruciferous vegetables and less meat prior to this event so one may think upping the ante to a fully plant-based diet would be easy. It was removing milk and eggs for me, limiting and eliminating sugar, prepping vegetables, and cooking double meals, all the while trying to get through the first three months of treatment planning, keeping up with appointments, insurance, and scheduling that added to the chaos and rebellion.
This was a good lesson in change-management for both of us. As professionals, we both have our change models. Mike’s is based on Model-netics and mine on other Change Management gurus like Kotter and Melcrum. We knew what was going on, but what were we to do?
What We Learned
We verified some of the science and models.
If the reason for a transformational change is urgent, (there is an emergency or life or death situation), there is a better probability of accepting the change. There is an even better chance of a transformation if there is data, for example, what percent chance of survival you have if you wait for treatment. Hence, Mike’s transformation from flexitarian to full-on vegan overnight. No easing in. Minimal pre-contemplation or contemplation. Just fast adopting. Change or die. Sorry for the drama.
There were definitely Change Curve emotions going on – but not for both of us. For some, I think with Transformational Change, there is little looking back. If you do, it will drag you down and you will lose momentum. That is my husband. He stayed focused and kept his eye on the prize. He learned to cook a bit. My supposition is when change doesn’t directly affect someone emergently, but it affects something you love to do and there is a high degree of emotional attachment and enjoyment, like cooking, there is a transition time of trying to figure out how to be supportive. In this case, I was a late-adopter. I gritched and groaned but the choices were to cook for two all of the time or figure out a way to make it work for both of us. I had to open the creative side and learn how to make it a positive.
Time heals everything – if there is time. Knowing I couldn’t stay too long in the inertia stage of change, I plotted out what I needed to make this new diet work (and quicker than being angry, crying and looking unsupportive to my husband). Giving it time, I figured it out and was able to pull myself out of the Change Pit of Despair and Consider Possibilities. I researched and we watched the Forks Over Knives and PlantPureNation documentaries again. I found the “thing” that I could connect to his mission with (beyond that I totally love him and will do anything to figure this out.) I researched Blue Zone work and connected with the idea of health being more than food. Health is also the soul, relationships, and exercise. To support the effort, I began the Forks Over Knives online cooking class to verify my skills, learn new skills and transform recipes. That worked for me.
Where Are We Now?
We are still early on in this process. We have been almost full-on plant-based for four months estimating about 90% plant-based eating. We still enjoy a bit of olive oil. I relish my Colorado-fresh eggs infrequently. We lean a little more to the Blue Zone total lifestyle theory but are definitely plant-based focused 100% of the time. My cholesterol was OK but has dropped another 20 points. For my husband, we have no idea if, at this point, the diet is impacting his longevity and cure rate other than believing if we are supporting cancer therapy with plants, that cannot be a bad thing. We will know in two years when they wean him off the hormone-reduction therapy. Our preference is that in two years, we know we tried everything possible to have a clear report.
What Does This Mean?
Change is always hard, yes, even if it’s truly an emergency life and death situation. An emergency is certainly a motivator.
Everyone changes differently. Creative., Analytics. Intuitives. Emotives. What are you?
Support is needed for change. Period. Whatever that looks like.
Looking back is hard. Look forward. Look back just to see if you are in a better place. Sometimes “back then” isn’t as great as you think it is!
Be OK with slip-ups. There may be regression at times. Forgive yourself and go forward. Don’t waste time with regrets or self-flagellation.
What are the intrinsic and extrinsic motivators beyond an emergency? Is life good? Do you want to keep it that way or always be in a state of perpetual process improvement? The latter is totally OK. We are.
Thought Questions
How do you generally accept change?
What are your “rules” for transformational change? Would you need an emergency?
How would you move past disbelief?
What would a transformational change look like for you?
What are the resources and support you will need to make a transformational change?
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